I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You smell like stripper and shame
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
