No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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