oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
