too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
