I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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