my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
