evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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