its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
