I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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