Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
