your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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