apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
