I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
