Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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