That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
