I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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