I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
