this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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