recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just made my gag reflex go away.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
