i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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