how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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