Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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