i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize