No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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