Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
