Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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