I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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