I wish I could teleport
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She bit a glass in half.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
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