Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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