What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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