I want you more than these girls want KFC
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
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I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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