go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
