addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I didn't notice because vodka
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
