Plan B is the new Plan A
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize