There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
