i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
