It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
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he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
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I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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