You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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