i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
