I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
