Dual....:-)
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
