at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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