your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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