he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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