conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
