party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
