i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
