Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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