Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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