i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
