you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
