Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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