i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize