Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
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Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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