are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
