do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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