I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
