i think my mom watched the whole time
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
