cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
