i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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