I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
