you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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