I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can you bring me the toilet please
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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