I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
